I have seen a lot of movies in my lifetime. A lot of this because movies are my dad’s truest passion in life. But either way I have seen a lot of movies, some are great, some are garbage fires, and some are purely an acquired taste. There is one movie I truly consider to be the funniest film I have ever seen: Ponyo from Miyazaki. It is also the one movie I am most afraid to watch again.

The first time I watched Ponyo I was 14. I was a freshman in high school. It was spring break. It was less than a week after our house caught fire.

It had happened on a Tuesday and our city was having like 6 different conventions and we were staying in a hotel that was 45 minutes out of the city and away from our schools. For spring break, we had planned on going on vacation out in Western Maryland and because we were going to have to switch hotels again. We still went. It was a sandwich hotel, from a temporary one and before a longer sabbatical at the next place. One a vacation from a home that was full of soot.

Anyways, Ponyo was our first night on vacation and it was the only full family moving appropriate playing (my sister was 7). It was so funny. Ponyo looked like a chicken when she transformed. The ocean was alive. It was hilarious. Honestly, I was in hysterics and I think my siblings were too but I was laughing so hard I couldn’t totally see them the whole time.

My partner and I have been watching the whole Miyazaki catalog with our HBO Max. I have redirected away from Ponyo every time. I have such a wonderful memory of it. It is a memory of light and relief in the middle of a really distressing time. I worry so much that no matter what it isn’t going to be good the second time around. If I don’t watch it again it can stay a favorite.

Maybe I’ll get around to it one day. Wish me luck!