Reflection on 2018

This year I have met hundreds of people, traveled across the United States, and read more than I have ever in a year. It was a full and crazy 365 days.

I started 2018 as a recent college graduate with no job whose boyfriend was visiting for the holidays. I end the year as a professional adult with no job who just moved in with her boyfriend. I did work over the course of the year. I actually had three jobs, one working a labor job in a used book warehouse, and two in my field, political organizing.

My family went to Alaska! We plateaued into an ongoing state of existence that we will hopefully we steady in. My sister started high school. I moved out. My brother moved from his jail cell to a mental institution where hopefully he can get the help he needs. We lost our elderly dog just a couple weeks ago, she was just in too much pain. It was a big year of evening out the rocky results of 2017.

I grew so much as a professional. I got up everyday and went to the same place. I learned how to manage other people. I learned how to manage myself! (Much more impressive. Trust.)

I joined groups and made friends, discovered mentors. Reconnected with old pals from high school and before. I was more social and free and open than I had been in years. Being in therapy for the whole year definitely helped with that. I got closure I didn’t know I needed from friends I didn’t know I still had.

Even though I failed almost half the resolutions I set myself this year I feel like I got more than I expected from 2018. After so many down years it was nice to have a positive one. I hope you all got through this year in one piece.

Wish 2019 luck, we are coming.

Dealing with Rejection

Right now, life is weird. As anyone who has become an adult in the last 3-5 years at least that I know has worked multiple jobs. Now I know that I am incredibly lucky to have an foot in the field I want to work in. However, I am not making money. Over the past several months I have been working very hard to try get a second part time job to build skills and make some cash or build a safety net. I have been rejected immediately from EVERY SINGLE ONE.

Now let me tell you, I can now recognize the rejection as it is happening or from the first line of an email. It’s crushing every time, mostly because I do think I have the skills to do these jobs or can learn them. I am a fast learner! I am also always free my political job is flexible other than some events that I can alternate with my candidate for. So it’s frustrating.

I want to be productive and useful and right now I do not feel this way. I also do not feel as though I can spend any money which sometimes I need to do, like for birthdays and family travel and even just paying for gas. Although, I could consider it an internship or fellowship a learning experience. I am living at home and I just do not like feeling like a burden.

To cope, I am considering myself lucky to be working in the field I actually want to work in a cultivating a network of professionals in that field. Hopefully I am opening doors for myself in the future versus sticking myself in a hole or in one job. I am worried about money but luckily I am becoming an adult where there are other ways besides a traditional job to make cash. Also at this moment in time a lot of large retailers re closing. I try not to take it personally. There are a lot of people looking for jobs and very few places that can offer them. It is not personal.

Staying positive is hard, but I try.

Wish me luck.

The beginning of being an adult, also summer

In the past three days, I have moved into my first apartment, began a season in a city where I barely know a soul, and have started my first professional internship in a career I someday hope to be in.  This is not my permanent situation just the summer before my senior year. A trial run of my life to be next year, now is the time for trial and error. As I begin to enter this very scary new phase of my life I thought it could be cool to document my adventures, that may not be so adventurous but new.

My apartment is small it is two bedrooms a bathroom and a tiny kitchen. I don’t have a roommate so the only person living with me is the stranger just across the kitchen. She seems so nice but I haven’t seen her at all since move in. I had hoped we would become friends. My internship is nice, my bosses seem to genuinely want to give us experience and skills to enter the field.  My fellow interns seem very nice but I have a hard time with new people, but two of them helped me navigate my way home so hopefully it could be something great. The city is big and confusing. I don’t totally understand the transportation system (also it’s slightly possible I walked in front of train this morning). My internship provides me a Charlie Card, but truthfully I don’t know where I would go. I don’t really know anyone except a couple people from college who live on the outskirts of Boston.

So far the two biggest problems I think I will face is feeding myself and being lonely. I really want this summer to be good and for me to grow more as a person and learn about how to be a real adult.

Fingers Crossed.